I posted this a year ago, today. I know I’ve only published a handful of posts in the interim; my life is very different now than it was then. I’ve been working hard at going forward, changing. And I’ve progressed — sometimes by choice, sometimes because it’s been thrust upon me. (You just can’t hide from LIFE!)
But I can’t forget. I wish I could, but all I can do is try to heal, bide my time in a safe place until the wounds seal over. Sometimes, though, there’s nowhere safe. Sometimes it’s right there in front of me, and I have no choice but to face it. Like today, especially today, the two-year anniversary of my own, personal “D-day.”
I’m not usually given to poetry, but sometimes the story just wants what it wants. This is how it came out today. Let me know what you think.
—–
Shots pop from all around
Exploding chunks of turf near where I stand
Bullet casings that turn to mortar shells
I dodge and take cover from where I think the enemy is positioned
But then, a grenade to the gut
Bounced off my shelter from somewhere behind
Stunned, I whirl
And blink
Et tu, Brute? Et tu?
Were you the lone sniper all along?
No, it seems there are others
Just as hidden as you
They blast away, even as your grenade shreds my insides,
Rocking the earth with violent spasms
Until my feet have no ground to hold
You had drawn the enemy lines long ago
It seems
And I was on the other side
But did not know it
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The Mouse's Soapbox 
I wonder who you had in mind when you wrote this. Like the enemy within?
Interesting thought, Cara. But, no, that wasn’t it. There was/is a specific person, I just can’t really go into it here (hence the cryptic poetry). Let’s just say that’s why God invented anonymous blogs (so I didn’t have to write poetry, while I was going through the worst of this. ;)) I’m in a place now where I can honestly say I’ve begun to heal. But the anniversary is still a painful trigger. Reblogging this was my way of acknowledging it — a nod to the power it still has over me. And maybe the fact that I can write about it gives me back a little of that power.
Then im glad you’ve reached that better place.
Thanks — me too!
That is so emotional… wow. As long as you keep writing, I know you will heal and be stornger with each word you write.
Thanks, coffee. Writing is very cathartic, isn’t it? 🙂
Yes… It’s so true.
Writing always help me… 🙂