Why I’m Not Going To Vote This Year: a political conspiracy theory story

Okay. So I’ve made it through the situation from my “Upcoming Personal Challenge” post. I reined in my feelings and didn’t behave rudely, fly off the handle, or try to claw anyone’s eyes out. Plus one for me!

Mostly I just walked the other way and tried to avoid my nemeses. (Minus one?)

Hey, I said I made it through, not that I made it through perfectly. I give myself a score on the good side of meh. Which brings me to another upcoming situation in which I feel very strongly about being apathetic: the elections.

I’m a bit of a conspiracy theorist. I believe that UFOs and space aliens just might be government covers for secret-weapons testing and biochemical experiments on humans. I think that Britney Spears works the dumb-blonde angle because it sells, but that she is actually extremely intelligent—just like Marilyn Monroe. I think food manufacturers unnecessarily put gluten into almost everything because of some sort of back-room deal with teamsters from the wheat farmers’ union. I believe the Secret Service—not OJ—killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman because… (okay, I started to explain more, but I really, really like this idea, and it’s the basis of a thriller I’m working on, so ‘nuff-said on that one for now). I have also come to believe that modern elections are rigged—especially the run for the White House—and are therefore pointless.

Which is why I’m not going to vote this year.

Elections started out as a good idea about democracy, but they’ve dwindled away to become farce, and everyone knows it. First of all, political ads are nothing more than half-truths and outright lies that each side spews about the other. The vitriolic salvo, which begins its crescendo in the late spring, reaches a two month nonstop climax this time of year. Debates and public appearances are basically shouting matches mixed with cheesy grins and more lies, and organizations that try to sort through the veracities get accused of having biased interests.

My grandfather used to say, “Don’t believe anything you hear, and only half of what you see.” Well, I don’t believe any of it, from either side. It’s exhausting and disheartening to witness. It’s one of the reasons I’m glad I barely watch television anymore. I mean, why get myself worked up for or against a candidate, when I have no idea what the truth is?

Then there’s the gripe about the Electoral College vs. the popular vote. Is he the People’s President or the States’ Man? (And why are they always so mean and unfair to every woman candidate, on both sides?) With the way candidates manipulate to leverage wins in certain states, it’s like teaching students how to do well on the state accountability test, rather than making sure they understand the content-material.

But the real conspiracy happens on Election Day.

Elections let us think we’re involved, but in the end the losing side always claims the thing was a set-up. Even the winners have that tiny whisper in the back of their heads wondering if it could be true. I believe they’re right. I think elections are either won or lost by well-paid specialized teams (this is where a huge amount of the campaign funding goes, btw) who play a clandestine King-of-the-Hill game against each other with sites that they determine will be the key hubs. In the olden days, these key hubs were at the polls, and teams needed to control the ballot boxes in order to, literally, stuff them. Now they do more sophisticated things, like create stealth programs and viruses to override election computer terminals. Hang chads and control the recount room. Manipulate the media.

So voters stand in line for hours on mere pretense.

Today is the last day to register to vote in Colorado. I’m not registered, and I’m good with that. Call me un-American, unpatriotic, an anti-democracy subversive, whatever. I’m none of that. I choose to use the term “clear-headed-individual-who-is-tired-of-pretending-that-my-vote-actually-counts.” I’m removing myself from the silliness, and on November 6, I will have a free day. Maybe I’ll go give blood.

12 thoughts on “Why I’m Not Going To Vote This Year: a political conspiracy theory story

  1. I’m more of an anti-conspiracy theory kinda guy. They’re too easy. Any evidence brought to bear against them only “proves” them more. After all, that evidence was rigged, “They” got to the witnesses. I require as heavy a burden of proof for a conspiracy theory as I do for a trial. In other words, Prove it.

    That said, I do agree with a lot of what was in your comment. There are groups trying with all their considerable might to influence if not outright steal elections. But are all those groups–both overt and covert–the same? To answer that question, I submit that you don’t listen to their words but instead look at their actions.

    Since the elections of 2010, states under complete Republican control have launched a concerted effort to undermine women’s rights. They’ve moved to make it harder to vote (If the vote was ultimately inconsequential, why would they do that?). And they’ve undermined environmental rules and regulations. All these things have been done by Republicans, and in turn Democrats have led the opposition against them all.

    Are all Republicans “evil” and all Democrats “pure”? Of course not. Politicians in both parties–far too many to completely trust the system–ARE bought and payed for. But at the most fundamental, core level there is a basic difference between their governing philosophies. If groups, shadowy and otherwise, are moving to control what happens, those groups are not all moving toward the same goal. Someone WILL win the coming election. I prefer having a hand in who that someone is. Until I see proof to the contrary, I believe that hand is the one pulling the lever in the voting booth.

    • “There are groups trying with all their considerable might to influence if not outright steal elections.”

      Yeah, outright stealing elections is a good way to put it, Doug. And yeah, someone will win the next election.

      But WHY? (Dun-dun-DUNN!) 😉

      • Possibly because of voters so disillusioned with the system that they drop out, and refuse to oppose those attempting to steal said election…:)

        Here’s another theory for you:
        What if there’s a conspiracy by one of more groups to make people so distrustful of ALL government institutions that those people will wash their hands of the whole thing, leaving the door not only unlocked but wide open with absolutely everything there for the taking?

        I don’t want to make it that easy for “Them”. Elections are supposed to be about making a choice. I suppose how we view the legitimacy of those elections is also a choice. I choose to participate. It could well be a waste of time, but I got nothin’ else to do that day … except maybe also give blood…;).

    • Let’s make it your thriller. By the way, I also like the idea of your possible take on the OJ case. Good luck with whatever you’re working on…:)

  2. I hear what you are saying Mouse. It is very sad to see our country in the state it’s in esepecially during election years! I too have felt the same way and thought – why should I vote? It won’t matter! I hate politics and the fighting it causes! The negative campaigning is ridiculous and out of control!

    But I tell you from the bottom of my heart, please vote! We have this right that was fought hard for us, not only as Americans, but as women! If every person felt the same way you do and decided to forgo their right to vote, what does that say to the people who fought so hard for us! There are millions of people in the world today who don’t have this gift of being able to vote and who would die for it!

    Please register and vote for either candidate! It doesn’t matter to me who you vote for – but it does matter to me if you don’t! : )

    Love you!

    • Thanks, Kathleen. Exactly! Why are our guys out there fighting for our freedoms (my brother, Tom, included), if it’s all just a sham? We need to correct what is wrong with this system, and it’s not going to happen if we participate in it. I feel very strongly about my apathy in this matter. (Don’t play in the sandbox if cats have been using it as a litter box.)
      I love you, too! 🙂

  3. Hey, Dawn. I think as an American you have every right not to vote. I think that’s one of the things our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines fight for – freedom to choose. Of course, in the immortal words of Rush (the band), “if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.” It does make it harder to be ticked if your guy doesn’t win, though. As for me, I already voted absentee. I love the fight that these political seasons bring! Go Mitt! Love you Dawn:)

    • Thanks, Matt! 🙂 You know, I really don’t like either candidate–based on the glut of misinformation I hear about both of them. Voting would be the lesser of two evils in this case, and I’m not prepared to play that game. It’s like telling me I have to choose between either gluten-free or dairy-free, when I’m allergic to both. Sorry, guess I’ll skip a meal rather than make myself sick. BTW, our guys (including your past service–thank you! Hoo-rah!) deserve better than to be fighting so hard for our freedom… to what? Degrade our country with these ridiculous campaigns? Save your sanity and give back to our troops: give blood on November 6! 🙂

  4. Love your thoughts! No wonder we get along as well as we do..I’ll still vote (one of the rights I’m not taxed for) but I do it as you say (see my fb political views..) “the lesser of two evils”..I also think with the barrage of crap/slander/bs they subject us to during election year, they should all (candidates/parties/pacs, etc) be taxed and put that 1% of the money spent on advertising toward the deficit..This election especially would put a dent in it. What a concept!

    • Now there’s an idea! Make the parties pay for all the abuse they subject us to? Don’t think it’ll ever happen, though. I think the best way to solve this is to just walk away and not play in the tainted sandbox with the bullies. We’d sort of need to get a new sandbox, then, wouldn’t we…? Hmmm….

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